Are you an "I'm not sure I'm a romance writer," writer?

Doubt Creeps In.

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It is expected you'll have doubts about your writing sometimes. I'd have questions about your sanity if you aren't questioning yourself occasionally. Contrary to popular belief, writing an exciting romance book or any book, and shepherding it into the world takes work. Thankfully, I didn't know how difficult it would be before I began this journey. "Ignorance is bliss," the saying goes. Add the book's marketing to the mix, and I feel like the Greek God Sisyphus pushing a gigantic boulder up a hill over and over again to no avail, seemingly to arrive back to where I started. This time of year also makes me reflect on my achievements and question my talent. This could be happening to you, or it could be something entirely different.

How can we deal with it?

• Take a break from writing.

This needs to be a fixed amount of time that you predetermine. If you can’t stop writing, you have your answer—whether you want to be or not, you are a writer. If you find yourself not writing romance, but writing something else, perhaps romance is not your genre, or you need to mix it up from time to time.

• Take a break from marketing.

Has marketing become a slog? If that's the case, you might need to take a break from that. Yes, marketing is essential, but doing it constantly can break any writer. Perhaps you need to do marketing tasks only one or two days a week. Some writers decide they love to write, but the book's marketing is not worth it. They decide they are happy writing the books and can live without publishing them. I'm not one of those writers, but you never know; I could reach that point.

• Stop spending time worrying about it and spend time writing.

You'll only accomplish something if you stop constantly questioning whether you're a romance writer and write your book instead. Stop worrying and start writing your book.

• Don't listen too hard to other people.

Listen to your inner self and what you need. When I first started writing, I needed more confidence, so I sought advice from others, but it was conflicting. It caused me to question myself and to do nothing. Remember, just because something works for me doesn't mean it will work for you. You must take charge of your writing and write the book you want. There may be better books for the market, but some writers are meant to start trends, not follow them. Perhaps you are one of them; too much advice could be psyching you out.

• Read Instead.

If you can't write, then binge-read. Reading can help recharge and reinvigorate you. The good, the bad, the ugly. I'm convinced it doesn't matter what you read. Romance, mystery, classics, or whatever floats your boat. Every time I pick up a book, I learn something about writing. Reading makes you a better writer.

"If you want to be a writer, you have to do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot." - Stephen King.

• Stop surfing social media.

How many times a day can you justify checking Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok? My answer: At most, once a week. I can hear some of you laughing and others screaming in horror. People have convinced authors it's the Holy Grail, maybe once upon a time, but it's like any other fairy tale; lessons must be learned. As you examine your list of followers, use your critical thinking skills. Who is the man following you with no profile picture and no posts, and how will he help you as an author? Is he actually interested in your books? The most important thing an author needs is their mailing list and engagement with those that sign up for their newsletter.

Have you ever experienced a time when you wondered if you were a romance writer and felt like throwing in the towel? If so, what did you do about it? Leave a comment.

You may not be a romance writer if you don't write. So stop reading this and write a line or two. Edit a few lines of something you've written or add to your NANO story. You get the picture.

This is a reminder. I'm taking off for the holidays. This writer, like you, needs some downtime to recharge. There will be no new posts on December 26 - 27 or January 2-3. However, I will repost a couple of past ones during those weeks, and since many of you are new to the newsletter, they may be new to you.

Have an excellent holiday, writers and readers. Enjoy your families, and thank you for your continued support!