As someone who reads romance novels and writes them, I ask this question often. Sometimes I think, “Oh no, another sex scene,” instead of, “Oh boy, a sex scene!” Reading or writing dark romance doesn’t mean it automatically contains more sex scenes. However, I’ve read a couple of romance novels labeled as contemporary in the last month where the number of sex scenes and length seemed too much, at least for me. The sex scene didn’t push the story forward or flesh out the character (pun intended). Like hot fudge on a sundae, you can have too much of a good thing. It overtakes the good vanilla stuff—the story lying underneath.
On the opposite side, when critiquing my work, I ask if my story meets readers’ expectations for dark romance? Does it have enough sex scenes? You have additional challenges when writing suspense, mystery, or fantasy romance. You must balance the sex with the external plot, which can lead to fewer sex scenes. Almost everything I’ve read from readers and authors seems to agree that when writing erotic/gothic or dark romance, one sex scene is not enough. However, with contemporary romance, you might get away with that.
The Love Hypothesis, for instance, has only one main sex scene, and the book was a hit. For most romance novels, three seems to be an acceptable amount, but how do you know for sure?
Creating complex characters beyond the trope they represent can help you determine how much sex your story requires. Keeping the character’s personality in mind will show what they need and the type of sex scene you should write. For instance, are they shy, and having sex in a public place, a giant leap, or are they adventuresome and would think nothing of joining the mile-high club?
Many readers don’t enjoy generic sex scenes, sex that could be stuck at any point in the book. Sex scenes need to be specific to that story and change/advance the character’s relationship.
Some books seem to feature redundant sex scenes while they do nothing to describe the couple’s intimacy. Did the love build along with the sex, or did it stagnate? Sex does not equal intimacy. But what I might not like might be precisely what someone else is looking for. How do you find what you are looking for or write to your specific genre?
Sex should add to the romance and cement the couple together, but too many sex scenes and something else could suffer. The quality of the plot, characters, or world-building, for instance. Sex scenes should matter to the couple. Is it the first time they’ve been together? Are they trying something new? Does it take place in an elevator or a treehouse? Is it mood-based, break-up, or makeup sex? Having the same-sex scene in every chapter is boring.
I've noticed that I enjoy romance books with three to four sex scenes that are explicit and relevant. If the sex could combine slow and sweet, dirty and quick (or quick/sweet or dirty/slow), and emotional, even better. I don't like the first sex scene before the book's forty-fifty percent mark unless it's the second or third book in a series. I want the plot and character development of the couple to come first, so I know them and can enjoy the sex when it comes. If the author writes well, too, sign me up. What does your perfect book look like?
Smut is not romance, just like love and sex are not the same. It’s a romance book, or it’s not. If there’s no romance, no connection between the characters, it’s not a romance book to me. Definition of romance: A story that follows romance story beats, has a Happy for Now or Happy Ever After, and depicts two (or more) people actually falling in love. Notice the word sex doesn’t even appear in this definition. Therefore, it could be a Sweet or Amish romance. Hand-holding, kissing, or fading to black is enough.
Erotic romance: A story that depicts a relationship (people falling in love), follows typical romance beats and has a Happy for now or Happy Ever After. Sex is integral to the relationship progression, and their relationship progresses through sexual discovery. Consider erotic/sexual as the sub-genre of romance, like mystery, fantasy, science fiction, or comedy, might be.
Since the book I shall not name (but contains the word Grey) became a hit, the market for erotic romances has grown. However, please don't confuse it with erotica. Though used interchangeably by some, there are vital differences between erotica and erotic romance that go beyond Amazon's inability to realize or respect the differences. Right now, admitting your book is either is a death sentence. Amazon will bury it, so no one finds it, which explains why authors place their erotic romances under other categories. So remember it's a contemporary romance, darling, and don't use keywords that say different.
Contemporary romance is a subgenre of romance set after 1945, and reflects the mores of the time.
Erotica is a book where sex plays a significant or central role. It doesn’t provide a happy ending or a typical romantic relationship progression (maybe not a love story at all.)
To end this piece, a question for you, dear reader; What romance genre do you write or read the most, and what is your preference in reading or creating your sex scenes? What is the most moving sex scene/love scene you’ve ever read, and what made it so? Please share your opinions or advice. Have a great week!
One set of scenes confines to stick with me after YEARS of reading romance. It is from "Crazy Wild" by Tara Janzen back in the days before... well a lot of things.
It begins about mid book. There's already been at least two attempts (by her) to kill or maim the leading guy, he's almost gotten her killed numerous times... and she's wearing a fishnet body suit. The scene unravels into total hotness faster than her fishnet. Each subsequent scene is just so poignant/hot/sweet that the book is in my top 5 of rereads. Maybe even #1. Although Loose and Easy (same author) could give it a run for the money.
But what stands out most is the yearning, the desperation... the feeling that these two NEED each other but there just isn't a chance that this relationship could hold up in the world outside his (extremely unique) bachelor pad.
This is why I am hooked on romance and where so many fall short. I can't tell you the number of times I've skipped a gratuitous sex scene because 1. It was totally unnecessary 2. Didn't MEAN anything to the characters... they might as well have been assembling IKEA furniture (tab a slot b) 3. It sounded like EVERY OTHER DANG SCENE IN EACH OF THE SERIES (yes, I'm looking at YOU RD, LL, AF, and LKH many many others.) 4. There are just too eyebrow raising, book tilting, WTF blocking issues. (Cough, gray hairball, cough, ELJ)
Agreed. There is such a thing as too much.
Thank you for commenting, Amy. I will check out Crazy Wild. You just talking about it makes it a must-read. I agree that some authors seem to use the same sex scene over and over in their books. It looks lazy and indicates a lack of interest in the characters or the book. If there isn't an intense dynamic between the characters, I find it challenging to create sex scenes for them, making me realize I have to work on that. Sex isn't the problem. It's creating that strong "need" or, as you describe, "desperation."