The Key to Happiness is Money & Fame!

Wrong.

Mar 18, 2025

I’m sure you knew I was pulling your leg. After all, what kind of romance author would I be to suggest that love doesn’t matter?

Love and relationships are at the heart of happiness—and I’ve got the evidence to back it up.

Since 1938, the longest-running study on happiness has uncovered a simple truth:

Strong relationships bring lasting happiness.

Not just romantic love or marriage—deep, meaningful connections with friends, family, or a partner are what truly make life fulfilling.

Yet, if we scroll through social media, happiness appears to be something else entirely. Images of Hamptons mansions, fancy vehicles, designer clothing, perfect bodies. We are made to feel as though we would be content if we could achieve those things.

The problem is that any happiness that results from monetary achievement doesn't last.

Something is always missing.

We chase after the next thing—comparing ourselves to others, measuring our worth against a curated highlight reel—only to find that happiness keeps slipping just out of reach.

Because happiness isn’t about having everything. It’s about having someone.

And real happiness isn’t about being happy all the time either.

Life comes with sadness. With moments of feeling lost. With days that feel blah. And no amount of money, possessions, or even the latest iPhone is ever going to cure that.

However, relationships do.

True happiness is found in the people we love, laugh and even grieve with.

Ironically, avoiding melancholy isn't the goal of happiness. It's important to accept it, sometimes we're going to be sad. We cannot experience joy if we have never experienced grief.

Without experiencing loneliness, we are unable to understand and connect to others that are alone.

So maybe the secret isn’t chasing happiness at all.

Maybe the secret is nurturing the relationships that make happiness possible—and sitting with sadness when it descends on us.

Not only are relationships key to happiness, but where you live plays a role too.

Some cities are simply happier than others. I was devastated to learn that my city, Wilmington, DE, ranks near the bottom of the list. That surprised me—because before I read the article, I was happy! Ha!

If you're curious about how your city stacks up, check out Wallet Hub, Happiest Cities in America, 2025. Some of the cities that made the list made sense, because of the location (the weather), but other places, not so much. The article also discussed the role finances played and revealed that once you earn around $75,000 a year, any additional income didn’t significantly increase life satisfaction.

And here’s another shocker—despite being one of the wealthiest nations in the world, the U.S. ranks only 23rd in global happiness. Who would have guessed?

The Role of Happiness (and Hardship) in Writing

As writers, we craft entire worlds and breathe life into our characters—but one thing we can’t do is let them be too happy.

Sure, you can lull them into a false sense of security, let them believe everything is going smoothly—only to bring them to their knees later. In fact, many novels start this way, right before the inciting incident (or catalyst) smacks them upside the head.

But here’s the truth: characters need hardship if they’re going to change. A romance novel where everything is perfect? Boring. A novel where things hit the fan, fall apart, and force the characters to face real challenges? That’s where story becomes interesting. It’s through struggle that the character grows, develops empathy, and becomes someone we root for.

If a character never faces adversity, how can they evolve? How can they learn to see the world through another’s eyes?

So go ahead—make them suffer. They'll thank you for it later. (Well, maybe not, but your readers will : )

Here are some ways to do it:

Take something they love—a relationship, a dream, a sense of security—and see how they react.
Give them a difficult choice—one where no option is easy or without consequence.
Introduce an unexpected loss or betrayal—forcing them to rebuild or rethink everything they thought they knew.
Challenge their belief system—put them in a situation where their core values are tested.

Hardship doesn’t just create drama—it fuels transformation. And transformation is what makes your character grow, your story compelling, and—hopefully—unforgettable.

So, how do you test your character’s limits in your story?

A Resource on Happiness

On another note, if you’d like to dive deeper into the science of happiness, I highly recommend this course:: The Science of Well-Being, taught by Laurie Santos at Yale. You can take it through Coursera. I enrolled in it a few years ago during a dicey time in my life and got so much out of it.

For My Fellow Romance Writers

Last week, I mentioned two contests for romance writers, and here’s a third I came across:

📖 The National Excellence in Romance Fiction Award.

I know many of you published at least one book last year, and this contest also has a category for first published novel. The other two I mentioned last week also have an unpublished category, so if you’re still unpublished, don’t count yourself out!

Have a great week, writers!